


Overwhelmed

by Castielnerdangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional, M/M, before Destiel, confused cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-22
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-13 09:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1220557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castielnerdangel/pseuds/Castielnerdangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has feelings for Dean that he doesn't know how to deal with. He doesn't know if they are right or wrong or if he should be feeling them at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overwhelmed

**Author's Note:**

> My very first fanfic. It's not very good so sorry about that.

One man. Average height. Average build. Always in the same familiar trenchcoat that even for a man who travels as much as he does, could call home. His old, lonely eyes, the color of the ocean that somehow seemed to light up whenever he was near HIS hunter. He had travelled many places in seconds and yet preferred the slower Impala. Standing there with the men he could call family, no one would have known he would give it all up, for them. His name was Castiel. And he was an angel.

It was early morning and Castiel was standing staring out at the vast body of water before him. He had always loved the ocean. He smelled the salty air and couldn't help but think of the countless tears he had never shed, but secretly wanted to. He loved Dean, but knew it was wrong. Yet somehow, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was right. He could see Dean's pain just by looking at him. He wanted so badly to help, but didn't know how. He looked at Dean with a kindness he didn't think angels were supposed to have. Sometimes he thought Dean felt it too. The tug of his heart, the quickening of his pulse. But it all just seemed to be in his head. The sound of the waves brought him peace, peace he hoped Dean would have someday.

"Castiel, if you are out there, Sam and I are working a case and could use your help"  
Castiel heard Deans voice and feeling a small amount of excitement he made his way towards him. He was by Dean's side in seconds, but even that felt too long for him. 

"Hey Cas, we have a case in Florida that involves demons and thought you might want to tag along"  
He always loved it when Dean used the shorter version of his name. It made him feel loved, accepted.  
"Yes. I will tag along as you say"  
"Good, but we're driving"  
Castiel felt a surge of warmth and welcoming as he slid into the backseat of the Impala. He had been the happiest he had ever been, helping Dean and Sam than he had in his endless years of living. He only wished Dean felt the same way.

Through the long drive to Florida, he could hear Sam and Dean rambling in the way that they do. Sometimes about the case, sometimes about a past event that wasn't going to be dropped. He wasn't paying much attention though.  
He was watching scenery change as Dean drove 20 over the speed limit. 

Even through the ever changing scenery, he felt one thing stay the same. As much as he tried to fight it, he couldn't stow his feelings for Dean, not in the way Dean could pack everything up in his Impala and drive away. Dean could move on, he could not.

The next couple of days were like a repeat of the past year he spent with Dean and Sam. They would eventually track the demons and perform the exorcism. He hated thinking this, but he wanted it to last longer. Now that the case was wrapped up, he had no excuse to stay. He didn't think Dean would take "I love you" as a valid reason. 

Castiel leaned up against the Impala, watching Sam and Dean drink to a case closed. He could feel the chill of the night air and could see the moonlight shine down brighter than he had seen before. 

"Hey Cas!"  
Castiel's heart skipped a beat. Dean's voice pulling him out of his thoughts.  
"Thanks for the help on this one."  
Dean, I would do anything for you, he wanted to say but decided on "you're welcome" instead. 

Castiel wanted to savor this moment. He wanted to lock it in his memories forever. He could see the moonlight shining around Dean's silhouette.  
"Well time to head home"  
Castiel knew he would have to say his goodbyes.  
"Goodbye Dean. Sam"  
"See ya Cas. Hey be careful will you?......frickin angels"

Castiel should have responded, but that was a promise he couldn't make with Dean. With the world, heaven and hell included, in the state it was in, he didn't want to let Dean down. Again he found himself at the ocean. A quick break before all hell breaks loose. Although he had found somewhat of a home with the Winchesters, he still felt lost. 

He played with a button on his trenchcoat remembering how Dean saved it for him when his vessel exploded from the leviathans. 

Castiel's head was filled with so many emotions, he didn't know he could feel, but right now he was an angel. He had work to do.


End file.
